Regulation

I have a very hard time dressing myself each day.  I'm always worried about what I'm wearing.  My sense of fashion is terrible and I blame the fact that I was never really given the chance to explore my own creativity as a child. 

I went to a private school which meant uniforms.  On weekends, it wasn't uncommon for my mother to send me back to my room to change because what I was wearing "would not be allowed out of the house."  I wasn't dressing inappropriately by any means.  It wasn't like I was wearing midriff bearing shirts and mini-skirts.  On uniform-free school days, kids would actually make fun of me for wearing outdated styles.  A mid-90's kid can only wear so many tacky sweaters and puffy sleeves and classmates aren't nice people!  We weren't a conservative religious family who followed a certain dress code- she just wanted or needed control.

My hair style was dictated.  I was expected to have my hair in a ponytail at ALL times even when sleeping or swimming.  I had to wear a scrunchy around the ponytail holder, too.  I think it was 5th grade when I finally convinced her to let me tie a ribbon around it instead.  She tried to control the length and was pretty successful.  I only got it cut twice a year, so I really tried to push the limits as to how short she'd let me get it. 

I was only allowed to wear a certain type of earring.  They were not allowed to be removed under ANY circumstance.  If one was lost, I'd have to wear the remaining one by itself for however many days it was until a new pair could be purchased.  Empty holes were forbidden.  If you walked through my bedroom all of my stuffed animals had pierced ears.  People would give me earrings as gifts and I wasn't allowed to wear them so at least my animals could.

Sometime around 5th or 6th grade I gave up for the first time.  I started wearing boys clothing.  It was like magic.  She left me alone as far as my shirts and pants went.  In middle school I started pushing my independence again and was only met with screaming matches.  I wasn't allowed to be my own person.  9th grade I gave up for the second time.  If she was so against what I was wearing, I was just going to dress exactly like her.  Baggy jeans and baggy tee-shirts.  Neither of us looked presentable!


I really feel that if I'd been allowed to play with my hair, I would have more skills as far as styling it.  Brushing it and putting it in a ponytail is all I'm able to do.  I do keep it really short, so a pony tail is rare.  As far as jewelry goes, I went to the opposite side of the extremes.  They are big, loud, and unique!  I wear lots of bracelets and necklaces, too.  I'm always afraid that I look trashy, tacky, matronly, etc every time put on clothing.

The moral of this story is that if the more you control someone, the more they will rebel!  Give them some independence so they can become their own person.