I ended my relationship with my mother. It was a rough ending that needed to happen. I have a lot of issues in my adult life that I feel were caused by her.
These are the stories of my childhood. They aren't in any particular order. I have a lot of triggers that bring back memories so I'm sharing them as they occur.
My plea to parents is to give your children space, respect, fairness, and autonomy. Don't trick yourself into thinking "my kid is going to be fine." It's very possible they might be scarred.
disclaimer: This is how I remember and perceive events in my life. I can't make up my memories though it is possible that I remember them different than she or another witness might.
I think this is a great idea, and it almost makes me want to start blogging again. I'm still very foggy about my childhood and I don't have many memories. I thought there was something wrong with ME because most of the memories I did have were bad ones. A blog would be motivation to work on remembering and not being ashamed anymore. Congratulations on doing it!
ReplyDeleteI actually am exactly the same as you, Cheryl! I can barely remember anything from my childhood, and I'm not talking from when I was 2... I'm talking from when I was 10, 12, 15... Only a slight few memories sruface and they're all bad ones. I know I've lived through emotional abuse from both my mother and father my entire life, but I wish I could remember how deep it went. Currently my hubby, 2 sons (2 years old & 5 months old), and I are living with my parents (was supposed to be a couple months so my hubs could find a job... it's been 14 1/2 months), and it's made a lot of issues surface that I'd buried. I've been considering starting a blog about why I've chosen to raise my children the way I do (no spanking, no punishment, alternative discipline, attachment parenting, no circumcision, exclusive BFing till 9 months, etc...). Seeing this blog gives me courage to move forward with it. My husband and I have also decided to sever contact with my parents once we are on our own again. It's a difficult choice, but one that should have been made a long time ago. I believe starting a blog like this could be a very cathartic experience. It's also very encouraging to see that I am not the only one with these problems and issues. Kudos! on beginning the journey to healing.
ReplyDeleteIt's really strange. I have an amazingly vivid memory. Always have. Just driving down the street, I start reliving random moments and rehashing them in my mind. When a memory of my childhood emerges, I can't even describe how it feels. I start wishing. Wishing I could forget them.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest hope is that by putting the memories out into the universe I can dump them from my mind and not have to think about them again.
Like Hephzibah,I don't ever want my children to experience the same things I did. My parenting choices are gentle, fair, natural. I parent with my brain, not my emotions.
Cheryl, you SHOULD start a blog! I'll read it!