Trained Monkey

There were countless times when I was made to feel like I was a trained monkey.  For some reason my mother thought it was fun to show me off like a circus side show.  I could tell people weren't really all that interested and many times it was the wrong place for such things. 

It wasn't uncommon to be eating in a restaurant and an old friend of my mother's walk over and say hello.  They comment on how much I'd grown since they say me last.  Then the next thing out of my mother's mouth was "stand up and show them how tall you are."  While it seems innocent enough, but really it was to show off her 5'8 fifth grader.  Then it was "Do a split.  Show them how flexible you are."
In a restaurant.  If I protested it, she'd jokingly say "close your mouth and do it."  Really, I knew she wasn't joking.  It was her cover. 

Me. On the floor.  OF A RESTAURANT!!!!!  How is that in any way appropriate?

After the friends would leave, I'd get the lecture.  How rude I was to her friends.  My back talking when told to do something, etc.  Really?  Because I felt that laying on the floor in public was inappropriate.  Not to mention that not only would her friends be looking at me, so would all the other patrons. 

Grocery stores, banks, doctor's offices, it didn't matter.  As I got older I started flat out saying "I'm NOT a trained monkey."  I'd still have to perform whatever, but the onlookers would feel a little sympathy for me.  At least that's what I told myself. 

Then during the Return period of my childhood, things became even worse.  "She came back from that school with a rock hard butt.  Go smack it.  I'll hurt your hand."  "Poke her butt and feel how solid it is."  I just wanted to scream LEAVE ME ALONE, but I knew that would have its own issues to follow. 

So if you ever see someone ducking behind a rack of clothing or pretending they don't see you.  Don't take it personally. They might be uncomfortable seeing acquaintances/coworkers in places where they wouldn't usually see you like the office or church.